When I was a kid my family didn’t agree on everything. Take dinner for instance. When Dad asked us what we wanted, half the room chanted PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA! While the other half yelled TERIYAKI THAI CHICKEN! TERIYAKI TAI CHICKEN! TERIYAKI TAI CHICKEN! We were a house divided. But Dad simply smiled and headed to Rascal House for pizza, then somewhere else for Teriyaki Thai Chicken.
When he got home, half of us wondered what it would be like to eat pizza with Teriyaki Thai Chicken on top. And half of us wondered what it would be like to eat Teriyaki Thai Chicken with pizza on the bottom. After all, Japanese cuisine treats our mouths to no less than 5 incredibly mouthwatering tastes all at the same time: sweet, sour, salty, bitter and umami – which means savory. But that’s as far as we got. Wondering about Teriyaki Thai Chicken pizza without doing anything about it. We grew up, got jobs, grew mustaches. All along, Rascal House was pondering Teriyaki Thai Chicken on pizza, but was waiting until the first day of National Pizza Month 2019 to roll it out. Since that’s today I called everyone, minus Dad, with the news.
Tonight, when Dad asks everyone what they want for dinner, he’ll probably fall over when we chant RASCAL’S NEW TERIYAKI THAI CHICKEN PIZZA! RASCAL’S NEW TERIYAKI THAI CHICKEN PIZZA! RASCAL’S NEW TERIYAKI THAI CHICKEN PIZZA! Then he’ll jump in the car and head to Rascal House. When he gets home, we’ll bite into the Teriyaki Thai Chicken Pizza. Mmmmmm! It’s just how we always imagined it. Sticky, sweet and savory. Fresh-made double-proofed dough with Rascal’s old-world garlic sauce and a teriyaki glaze, loaded with pure provolone cheese, chargrilled chicken strips, crisp green peppers and red onions. Then another round of teriyaki glaze with a sprinkle of toasted sesame seeds. It’s like eating our two favorite takeout foods at the same time because we are eating our two favorite takeout foods at the same time!
After we finish eating, we’ll go out to the front yard and watch Dad lower the tattered pizza flag that’s been up there since the Disco era, then do the same with the Teriyaki Thai Chicken flag. We’ll probably sing that song that goes Won’t You Take Me to Funkytown, but change Funkytown to Umami-town. Dad will raise the Teriyaki Thai Chicken Pizza flag that miraculously appeared while everything else was going on. We’re no longer a house divided!