Ah, the Super Bowl. The Big Kahuna. Four Quarters of Crazy. Or, as I like to call it, Mouthwatering. Sure, you have the commercials that have everyone talking on Monday. And the best players in football etching their way into Super Bowl history. But what is everyone really thinking about while this is all going on? Pizza and wings! Of course, I might only be speaking for the people who live in Cleveland. Cleveland being the home of Rascal House, Rascal House being the greatest thing to happen to pro football since Joe Namath showed up on The Brady Bunch in ‘73. You see, here in Cleveland we measure Super Bowl moments by what we were thinking about when the plays took place. For example, in Super Bowl XX, when William “the Refrigerator” Perry scored a touchdown in the Bears 37-3 win over the Patriots, everyone in Cleveland registered a 7.1 rumble in their stomachs because they were imagining how good a Pepperoni Extreme pizza would taste. I could’ve sworn my rumble was closer to 8, but who am I to complain? Oh, and in Super Bowl XXVI when Thurman Thomas lost his helmet, everyone in this town was too busy eating Rascal House buffalo wings dripping in Sweet Chili sauce to realize that losing a helmet during a football game is dangerous. I tried telling the guy next to me that losing a helmet during a football game is dangerous, but my mouth was stuffed with so much Rascal House goodness that he thought I said, “Give me your wings you big bonehead!” Good thing his mouth was also stuffed with Rascal House goodness because all I heard was, “Here, take as many as you want. After all, Rascal House is best when shared with friends.” Good thing he didn’t ask me to step outside.
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