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It’s Back to School Time. Contain Yourselves!


Some people see the words ‘back to school’ and think books, homework and no more sleeping in. We see a mathematical equation that’s so obvious, you won’t need to rent the kid from Good Will Hunting to figure it out.

B=Buffalo Wings with Hot or Mild BBQ, Honey Mustard or Sweet Chili Sauce. They’re soooooo meaty, soooooo tender, soooooo I-can’t-believe-I’m-reading-this-epic-novel-while-eating-delicious, you’ll finish War and Peace with a smile on your face.

A=Anchovies. You might think they’re salty, but they’re the happiest creatures on earth. They know they’ll end up on pizza that has double-proofed dough, award-winning cheese and our famous Rascal House sauce. That’s probably why they swim toward our nets at 100 MPH.

C=Criss-Cut Waffle Fries. Golden delicious and seasoned with so much Rascal-ness, potatoes are jumping out of the ground proclaiming they wanna be Waffle Fries when they grow up.

K=The 4th Letter in Napkins. If you plan on selling back your books at the end of the semester, you may want to load up on napkins before you dig in to that Pepperoni Extreme specialty pizza from Rascal House. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to imagine what happens to expensive books when hands that have touched so much pepperoni goodness come into contact with them. Then again, textbooks coated with Rascal House stains are worth a lot of money. You make the call.

T=Toppings. You can tell how much a pizza loves you by the number of toppings it has. Pepperoni, sausage, ham, char-grilled chicken, beef, hickory-smoked bacon, meatballs, anchovies, green peppers, red onions, banana peppers, black olives, diced tomatoes, mushrooms, artichoke hearts, jalapeno peppers, pineapple, kalamata olives, provolone, sharp cheddar, feta. Dude, I think this pizza’s checking me out!

O=Ooey Gooey Desserts. Decadent, creamy cheesecake. Fresh, delicious brownies. Just out of the oven Jumbo cookies. I’m confused. Are we a pizza place or a bakery?

S=Special Delivery. No, don’t get up. Stay in your dorm and study your quantum physics. We got the Baked Meatball Sub and Greek Salad you ordered. Be there in 10 minutes?

C=Chicken Wraps and everything else that starts with C we didn’t mention the first time C came up. Chicken Tenders, chef salad, char-grilled chicken salad, Caesar salad, chicken bacon ranch pizza, chicken primavera pizza, chicken sandwich. Let’s see, what else? Oh, how ‘bout, cheese? That is if you’re into that sort of thing?

H=Homework. Nothing beats homework with a plate of Rascal House food next to you. Except homework with a plate of Rascal House food in you!

O=the ‘Oodles of Fun’ that run rampant at Rascal House. Forecasters predict that if this much fun is allowed to continue, ‘back to school’ will replace Christmas as the happiest time of the year. Sorry, Santa!

O=the ‘Oodles and Oodles of Fun’ that run rampant at Rascal House. Forecasters predict that if this much fun is allowed to continue, ‘back to school’ will replace Rascal House as the greatest thing on earth. Not funny, forecasters!

L=the # of times the average person says ‘I Love Rascal House’ every day: You eat at Rascal House. There’s nothing average about you. But if you say it like every second, it’s 86,400. We can live with that!

To sum up: Adding the above letters together = A Very Good Time at Rascal House!Back to School@2x 100

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