18 Ways I’ll Celebrate 40 Years Of Rascal House Today

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On this second day of April I find myself looking back to the year 1980. Sports, music, movies and the birth of a brand-new pizza place in Cleveland, Ohio. There are more than 10,000 ways to enjoy Rascal House, probably closer to a million, but I stopped after 18 because I got really hungry. This happens every time I write about this place.

  1. Catering: Since Kool & The Gang released “Celebration” the same year Rascal House was born, and the song comes right out and says to bring my good times and my laughter too, I’m gonna celebrate my party with you.
  2. Golden delicious Waffle Fries: I don’t need a reason to crave golden delicious Rascal House Waffle Fries. What’s that, you want a reason? Okay, they remind me of the U.S. Hockey team’s gold medal finish at the 1980 Winter Olympics. Rascal House doesn’t sell silver or bronze waffle fries.
  3. Original Pan Pizza: Double-proofed dough, Rascal’s signature sauce, over a dozen meat and vegetable toppings and 100% pure provolone, sharp cheddar or feta cheese. It’s a Cleveland original, like Super Joe Charboneau.
  4. Box Lunches: Everything I love about Rascal House food stuffed in a handsome box I can carry anywhere my Rubik’s Cube takes me.
  5. Char-Grilled Chicken Salad: Herb seasoned grilled breast of chicken on top of fresh, crisp lettuce with shredded cheddar, grape tomatoes and cucumbers. Did you know there was a Massachusetts-based rock band called The Fools that sang a song called “Psycho Chicken” in 1980? Neither did I until I googled chicken in 1980.
  6. Pasta: Spaghetti or Classic Penne Pasta with thick, hearty marinara sauce. Not to be confused with Ed Marinar-o, former NFL running back and star of the hit TV show Hill Street Blues.
  7. Rascal House Deluxe: Aged pepperoni, sliced mushrooms, green peppers, red onion and mild Italian sausage on a bed of provolone cheese. Takes me back to 1980 when I was 13 years old and I asked my mom if I could legally change my name to Fonzie.
  8. Philly Steak Grinder: Roast beef topped with grilled mushrooms, onions and melted provolone cheese. Takes me back to 1980 when I was 13 years old and my mom laughed when I asked her if I could legally change my name to Fonzie.
  9. The Rascal Burger: 100% pure half-pound sirloin burger on a toasted bun with lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle and mayo. I had a t-shirt in 1980 that read ‘My Parents Went To Rascal House And All They Brought Back For Me Was CLEVELAND’S #1 BURGER!’
  10. Fresh Market Wraps: Roman, BLT, Veggie or Chicken on whole wheat flatbread. The same year we opened Hall & Oates sang “You Make My Dreams Come True.” Is this a coincidence or what?
  11. Meat Lovers Specialty Pizza: Aged pepperoni, Italian sausage, hickory smoked bacon and ham on a bed of provolone cheese. Makes Teddy Ruxpin wish he was never born a toy.
  12. Garlic Sesame Breadsticks: Rascal’s famous pizza dough lightly brushed with garlic herb butter and sprinkled with sesame seeds baked to perfection. Like Len Barker’s perfect game, without the mustache.
  13. Brownies: Turns brownie lovers into multiplatinum hit hair bands. When AC/DC sang you shook me all night long, they weren’t kidding. These brownies ROCK taste buds.
  14. Deluxe Deli Tray: Turkey, ham, roast beef, salami and corned beef with swiss, muenster and American cheese. Comes with pickles, olives, hot cherry peppers and your choice of macaroni, cole slaw or potato salad. We firmly believe things would’ve run a lot smoother around the office if Rascal House had made a cameo in the 1980 hit movie 9-5.
  15. The All American: Thinly shaved buffet ham and oven-roasted turkey topped with provolone cheese. Would’ve been the starting quarterback in the 1980 Rose Bowl if it wasn’t so darn edible.
  16. Texan Bar-B-Q Bellybuster: Bigger than J.R. Ewing’s hat and believe you me, much tastier! Char-grilled chicken strips on top of hot & spicy BBQ sauce with provolone and sharp cheddar cheeses.
  17. Gyro Sandwich: Seasoned lamb and beef with lettuce, tomatoes, onions and cucumber-dill sauce. What everyone was fighting for in Clash of the Titans.
  18. Chips and Salsa Platter: A fun snack platter filled with tri-color crispy tortilla chips and a chunky, flavorful salsa. Turns dark and serious co-workers into Rodney Dangerfield.
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The original flagship Rascal House store in Downtown Cleveland, 1980.

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