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Santa Claus has said on numerous occasions, “the best way to Santa’s heart is through a Rascal House chimney!” Rudolph, with his nose so bright, agrees. “Listen, I’m not saying that Santa doesn’t appreciate all the cookies that children leave out for him, he does! But what really gets the old man’s belly shaking is when we approach the Cleveland skyline. ‘Hey Rudolph, are we there yet, are we there yet!’ And since Rascal House has locations downtown, in University Circle, University Heights, Euclid and Maple Heights…I sometimes wonder if we’ll ever finish making our deliveries! Not that I want to leave. Your Veggie Wrap with its mushrooms, fresh tomatoes, onions, lettuce, green peppers, cucumbers, black olives and shredded provolone cheese…I’m just gonna come right out and say it, ‘be-hooves me to agree with Santa!’”
“Now Rudolph, how many times does Santa have to remind you that you don’t have to resort to jokes about your unusual feet to let everyone know how much you love Veggie Wraps at Rascal House?”
“I know, Santa. But I get so excited this time of year!”
“What Rudolph is trying to say is Santa Claus loves everything about Rascal House. He loves the Buffalo Wings. The way every bite of those scrumptiously succulent ginormous pieces of chicken with BBQ, Honey Mustard or Sweet Chili Sauce ends up in his tummy and not all over his beard. He loves the way their Garden-Fresh Salads (yes, Santa eats salads) are made fresh daily. Oh, and don’t even get Santa started on their specialty pizzas! If you do he’ll never stop referring to himself in the third person. He’ll say things like, ‘Santa’s gonna sit right here and eat an entire Meat Lovers pizza while you guys finish delivering presents.’ And who could blame Santa? Rascal House loads each Meat Lovers pizza with so much pepperoni, Italian sausage, hickory smoked bacon, ham and provolone cheese that even Hermey wants to leave his dental practice and come back to work with Santa!”
“Santa, tell them about the Rascal Burger you love so much!”
“You mean the 100% pure beef half-pound burger on a toasted bun with lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle and mayo?”
“Yeah, that one!”
“I think I just did, Rudolph.”
“Hee, hee!”
“What’s so funny?”
“I just made you say something in the first person!”
“You’re hilarious, Rudolph. By the way, Santa’s thinking about letting Comet lead his sleigh this year.”
“You wouldn’t!”
“Hand over those Chocolate Chip Cookies (baked fresh daily at Rascal House) and maybe I’ll reconsider.”
Wraps, wings, salads, pizza, burgers, cookies AND cheesy banter involving Rudolph and Santa in the same story? This really is a different kind of pizza place! Share your holidays with us on Twitter or Instagram using #RascalHouse, or post on our Facebook page!
